Today I found out that guys wont like you if you don't like yourself. NOT! All you have to do is be a good actor. I was telling Gem and Elizabeth about my mom saying how happy she was that I'm cool with my body (Which I'm not) and Elizabeth goes on about how I look beautiful. And I know that I look OK but it's not like I really like how I look. Then she was going on about how some guy at her birthday party said I was hot and how guys can tell when you don't like yourself and then they aren't attracted to you. For one: apparently I'm a good actor cause everyone is surprised when I say I don't like my body and two: If that were true no one would really like Elizabeth or at least a few months ago no one would have cause I know she at least before didn't like her body if she doesn't still not like it.
I almost which I wasn't a good actress cause it kinda sucks when people cant tell that you really hate your body. And the thing is, I've come to terms with my face and my hair (Mostly) but its the rest of my body that I don't like and it doesn't really make sense that people are surprised that I'm not in love with my body. I'm a dancer who doesn't have a dancer's body for goodness sake. Plus I live with a sister who has the perfect body plus the perfect metabolism. Not to sound conceited or anything but everyone just seems to think that because I didn't go to a 'real' school I don't have problems like that and that my life is perfect and I'm perfect and no one will seem to accept that most of the time I hate my life, I hate myself, and I hate that I cant change either of these things right now because I have no determination.
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