Stress'll Do That

Aren't best friends that you've known all your life supposed to be supportive and understanding? I've learned recently that apparently they aren't. I've also learned that if you go to college it's not a real school cause it's not mandatory. All of this I learned from my best friend.
I go to college for school even though I'm supposed to be in high school cause I've been home schooled practically my whole life and my friend has been making fun of me forever which I don't mind cause I'm used to jokes and stuff cause my family has a kind of twisted sense of humor. But lately she has really gotten on my nerves cause she says stuff about how she goes to Public School. (I went to a charter school for a few weeks in Jr. High.) And how no school is a real school unless it's public and finally I got upset because she was saying something about how she has it harder cause she goes to a real school cause she goes to public school and I had had enough so I was like "Oh wow, I go to a public school." Which I do. It's a public community college. And then she has the nerve to tell me that college isn't a real school. By this point I am so close to livid so I just say it back to her as a question. "College isn't real school?" And I think it was either my anger or her horrible word choice that she realized and she covered up by saying that it wasn't real school cause it wasn't mandatory. I swear to you, if we hadn't been in the middle of church I would have probably cussed which I practically never do.
What the heck does she mean college isn't mandatory, at least for me?!?!?!?! Right now everyone including members of my own family think I'm an idiot and I'm not socially adjusted and that I can't learn anything cause I was home schooled. When I get my AA this December that is going to be the first thing that acknowledges that I can think and that I'm not stupid. I have to go to college right now.
I have enough crap piling up against me. I have enough people against me. I don't need my best friend to be one of those people. I need someone to understand that I need something that says I'm not stupid because there are plenty of people who think I am. And I need this degree to make everyone see my mom isn't an idiot either for homeschooling me and my sister.

So, I need an outlet just to ramble when I don't want to annoy the people I know so I decided to annoy anyone who reads this.

Have you ever felt like everyone wants you to be normal and different all at the same time?
I feel like that a lot. I think 'normal' and 'different' should never be used when talking about people. Cause everyone wants to be a 'normal' teenager and fit in but then they all want to be different. And then if you like something that everyone else happens to like you cant say you like it cause then you would be part of the crowd which half of them don't actually like whatever it is and the other half are the ones who started the trend. But you cant join the trend because then everyone thinks you are just joining cause everyone else is, even though you aren't and you actually do like this thing. Why is it so confusing? Why cant you just like what you like and let everyone get over it? Well you want to be different.

Being home schooled and starting college at 13 makes it incredibly difficult to fit in but being different sucks cause it's not like you're just different cause you dress funny or you like anime or whatever. Plus I'm Christian so that's a public no-no. I don't really fit in with my church friends cause I only went to school for 2 weeks in the 'correct' grade and even that doesn't count cause I went to a charter school that had dance instead of P.E. (Explain to me that logic and I would be incredibly happy) Then I don't fit in at school cause I'm 16 which means I'm at least 3 years younger than most people there and even if I meet a high school student who's taking classes I don't fit with them cause I started freshman yeah of high school and cause I don't go to a high school at the same time I'm going to college.

I hate talking to people on the phone. I'm too sarcastic. Elizabeth called me and cause she was already talking to one of her guy friends it was a three-way and I found out I'm really blunt. I always feel like I'm holding stuff back and being really nice. Well, not really nice but nicer than if I spoke my mind. So we were all talking and I really didn't want to talk so I was being really blunt and really sarcastic. Apparently, I really convincing when I'm sarcastic cause the guy would be teasing me and I would say something sarcastic like 'I'm so hurt' or 'you hurt my feelings' or something like that and Elizabeth would be trying to make sure I knew he was joking. I'm not an idiot. I can tell when people are joking . . . most of the time and this guy's voice was really easy to read so it wasn't that hard. I like being face to face when I wanna talk to someone or be typing it out. Then I can be sure, most of the time, that they know I'm joking and stuff. Otherwise I feel like a complete idiot cause they didn't get it.

So, I guess that's the end of my rant for today. Sorry I skipped around a lot, I have a very ADHD mind. Hope I didn't bore or confuse you too much.