Obliviousness

Apparently, I hide my self-esteem and body issues pretty well. My mom was telling me about a pre-teen girl in the classes that Kimmy teaches and how this girl was really self-conscious about her weight and she didn't like how she had a muffin-top and all that junk and the girls mom was saying that it didn't help that her best friend was a stick (Which she really is) and my mom told me how happy she was that I was cool with my body especially cause Kimmy is a stick and I've had to live with her all my life. I have no idea what world mom is living in or if she is just that oblivious. I hate my body, I am constantly comparing myself to Kim, and I am constantly trying to find ways to lose weight (Healthily now, I used to try not to eat but I was too informed on how you gain weight before you start to lose it when you starve yourself) Of course she's telling me this as I'm reading a diet book. Really! I have looked at how many diet and healthy cook book and you think I'm cool with how I look?

Sleep-less-ness

2:2something AM
Apparently I'm really stressed. I only stay up really late and not feel tired till, like, 4 in the morning when I'm really stressed. Cause my body seems to think that lack of sleep is going to make it all better. Yeah, I know, its stupid and it sucks. well during the night it doesn't cause I'm such a night owl, but in the morning it sucks.

4:2something AM
. . . yay its past 4 and I'm still not tired. Don't you just love those little quirks your body has. No? neither do I. I could defiantly live with out these late-night interventions. I always end up crying at some point and then I'm good for another week or two. Why cant I just get everything every January 1st? Then I wouldn't have to deal with this all year.