I am MAD!!!

I am MAD. A strange sentence coming from me. I tend to be sad, upset disappointed, lonely. Not normally mad but I have a good reason. I've always known I'm shy but yesterday I found out the true extent of it. And it's really really stupid!
So, I like this guy at church and last week I lost my phone and he found it. This part I was expecting. I went up to him told him I thought he had my phone and he gave it to me then I sand thanks and walked away. Normal. Then I was telling my dad about what happened and he said a good way to start talking to him is to go up to him the next day and thank him for finding my phone again. I was totally into doing that cause I really like this guy. I spent almost all week planning on talking to him and I got really excited cause I was finally gonna talk to a guy I like! Sunday morning comes around and I tell my friends that they have to make me go and talk to him cause I'm going to wimp out if I have no one keeping me there. Unfortunately, my friends apparently don't understand the word 'force' because the songs started and I hadn't talked to him.
I wasn't completely upset cause I still had after the sermon. But after the service my friends still didn't have the guts to get me to go up to him. And the one friend that would have didn't get the message of what I was trying to do until he disappeared. Yay I just showed how deathly afraid of guys I am. I got really upset and went into the bathroom where Emelia (A.K.A. the only friend that would have helped if she could) found me and made me feel a little better about my patheticness before two of my other friends came in and believed Emelia when she said I was crying when she accidentally poked me in the eye. Really? I mean, REALLY! You believe that!? But whatever I'm getting over how gullible they are.
Then we go to meet up with my sister and her now ex-boyfriend, that is where I find out that two of my friends ended up finding the guy I like and talking to him for a while somewhere else. Like OK I have no problem with them talking to him per se, I don't care that they talked to him just that they could and I couldn't. Not the best picker-upper. So I go through the day disappointed in myself and end up deciding to go to the high school/college football game after the evening service, the Turkey Bowl. He was there and playing and I was drooling over him the whole time as well as a semi-old crush that I have recently found in the crowd again that I might have accidentally offended him cause I was taking care of a bunch of kids and couldn't really talk to him.
So last night I'm crying in my bed thinking how stupid I am because I can't even talk to a guy and one of the things a friend said to try to get me to go up to him. She said if I couldn't talk to him I would end up being the crazy cat lady while everyone else is going to be married with children, all because I can't talk to a crush. oh joy.

How are you supposed to deal with being stressed and watching everyone else in your family be stressed out of their minds and not do anything about it?
I feel so useless. I'm watching my family and they're all trying to do their best and it's not good enough and I can't help them and its killing me. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost.

. . .

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!
I hate it I want to cry about 10 different things at once but then I don't cause I know that's not going to help whatsoever other than make me more stressed cause I know if I start crying I'll start thinking of everything that's stressing me and I'll find even more stuff to be stressed about and it wont help but then if I don't cry it'll just keep building up and I'll burst in the middle of something randomly. I just want to curl up in a ball and die . . . not really . . . how about curl up in a ball and wait for time to stop?